Dear Advice Candy:
I am tired of going to clubs. I would rather socialize at home, but all my friends think they are missing something if we stay in. They say I might be single forever unless we go out where there are some new people to meet. But honestly, I haven’t met anyone at a club yet (especially at 1am when we finally go out), and I’m about to give up. Is it me, or is it just Miramichi?
Bored Chi Chicky
My darling, the only prize you’re going to find in a Miramichi club is a chicken wing under one of the chairs leftover from supper hour. I’m not saying this is never possible in the history of time to meet someone out at a bar but the breeding grounds can be nasty if you know what I mean. It’s noisy, alcohol is involved, there is almost always impure motives on part of the men that linger in those places. All of this topped off with your own alcohol induced vulnerability, I can tell you from personal experience it’s never pretty. The unholiest of sanctuaries if you will. You are far too sacred to be wrangled in by a bar fly at closing time and then dined through the McDonald’s drive though at 2 a.m.
Just like with anything people change and grow and their desires and interests vary as they move through life. At one point, you may have had a lot of fun going out to the bars. Now, it doesn’t sound like this is the case. I’m a strong believer that part of living authentically involves not doing anything you don’t want to do. If you are tired of the club scene, don’t go. I can assure you there lots of different options, maybe one of them being to find a group of friends not so interested in this lifestyle. Next, I want you to think about what you wrote to me “They say I might stay single forever unless we go out where there are some new people to meet” Be so very careful of what other’s put on you in form of their words. This statement is speaking fear and negativity into your life about the “tragic” consequences of not following their ritualistic behaviors which I can assure you is false! The more you start doing what YOU want to do and living authentically, the universe will answer your request for the right person.
Are you interested in painting? Join a painting class. Yoga? Church, a ball team? Follow your interests and all the right people will present themselves in your life. What would a perfect Saturday night look like for you? Envision it, plan it and make it happen. The more you start fearing you’ll die alone and be eaten by your cats, the more you will emit that fearful energy to the world. Whatever we focus on will grow. Be positive, never fear and believe the universe has the most perfect plan for you.
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